I’ve always been sure of what I wanted, why I wanted it and that somehow, I’d figure out how to get it. I feel incredibly blessed to have found the thing I thought I wanted to do for life, and that I’ve managed to make a substantial portion of my living from it for the past ten years. But, what happens if you have a change of heart? When the thing that once clicked…doesn’t quite lock-in anymore? Well, that’s where I was at a few months ago, and here’s how I’m “fixing” it.
Recently my mind has been all over the place. Do I want to make an album after releasing the next EP? Do I want to finally take my “gap” year and travel the world? Or perhaps start an entirely new business venture? The list goes on, and every so often I think of something else I want to achieve within the short time I’ll be on this earth. I wouldn’t say I’ve fallen out of love with music, but other things have started to excite me in the way that it once did. Perhaps touring and understanding the industry have influenced my thoughts and feelings, but I don’t see any of this as a negative. If anything I’m grateful that these signs are presenting themselves and I’m motivated to do something about it.
Photo by Tribunalova
I have such a wide range of interests, and sometimes it’s a challenge to give them the attention they deserve because I’ve been subconsciously conditioned into the approach of ‘all-or-nothing’. However, I’m slowly realising that (with thought, planning and dedication) I can do anything I want to, and most importantly – I’ll be OK. I have to admit that I was a little worried that if I shared my other interests on social media, I would lose the people that “follow me” and signed up as fans of my music. Actually, the opposite has happened. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been posting more on Instagram Stories which has led the most amazing conversations with people and establishing new connections and collaborations with businesses. I guess my irrational fear stemmed from my perception of the word “Career”- it has always conjured up the image of a person specialising in a particular field. So, for the last decade, I set my goal on becoming very good at one thing. And I mean, that’s fine if it’s your destiny, but I’ve come to understand and accept myself as a ‘jack-of-all-trades’, and within this revelation, I feel a stronger purpose for being, I’m more focused and am achieving a new level of balance. I also feel less pressured to rely on one talent to feel like I’ve ‘made it’. Also, I’m way more motivated to make things happen and have a new found confidence that my success has and will continue to present itself in multiple ways.
Photo by Tribunalova
So, the main reason for creating a blog is because I want my own hub to document share and perhaps even inspire as I navigate my way through life. As I take the next steps on my journey, I’ve opened up curtains a little wider for you to observe through the windows of my world.
Anyway, this has turned into a mini-dissertation and was so not my intention. To summarise: No, I haven’t given up on music, I’m merely exercising the divine right that I believe we should all strive for: To live my truth. And so far, it feels wonderful.
There will be music (when the time is right) and so much more – I’m super excited to share it all with you.
x
Szjerdene
This is so inspiring, I’ve been following your journey since MySpace! It’s amazing how you’ve transformed. Wishing you the success for this new chapter l definitely be watching.
Oh wow myspace! Talk about taking it back. Yes so much has changed for me as I’m sure you’ve seen. Thanks for the support x
I can’t wait for more music! I really like your Instagram stories too though.
It’s on it’s way! I’m enjoying them too!
Very beautiful first Blogpost. It’s interesting, that i experienced it quite the same. What i learned over the Years is, that everything is constantly shifting. That’s a good Thing actually because it’s a Sign that you grow as a Person and as an Artist. My most important Lesson to learn was to trust myself. And don’t follow the Masses on Social Media. I’m glad that you don’t give up on Music! I’m still desperately waiting for your first Album! 😉
Yes! Trust is a great point. But sometimes you’re unaware of your powers to even know that you can trust in them. Deep haha! Glad you’ve realised this about yourself – it’s refreshing to hear!
I really enjoyed reading this. I’m sure many people will be able to relate and understand the struggle of switching your focus on to new passions whilst temporarily putting another on hold. It’s something I’m actioning at the moment and I’ve found that I’m moving closer to living my best life. I wish you all the best for future blog posts ?
It’s amazing how many people experience this. It’s so normal but not spoken about enough I think. Do you have any actions or approaches you can share? I’m exciting for your journey!
Really enjoyed this! you are so interesting. big love ♥️
Thanks so much for reading and leaving a comment! Lots more coming your way. Stay tuned and share with your world x
Thanks David!
interesting, as i too have more than one passion beside music, i enjoy photograghy/videograpghy alot making me a jack of trades in this field.
There’s power in it! Own it and wear it like your favourite shirt. How cool!
This resonates with me so much- I’ve always felt this way growing up and into adulthood, making it especially hard to decide on a career path with so many interests. Eventually I became a pharmacist who does visual art/photography/writing on the side and this balance caters to my equal love of science and creativity pretty well. Glad I’m not the only one!
That’s fantastic! It’s weird the more I speak to people about it the more I realise it’s a common feeling that lots of people go through. I’m happy you’re exploring your other loves!
So much to reflect on here, Szjerdene!
I identify with this as ten years ago exactly I took my plan A from the shelf and ran with it.
I left my 9 to 5 to become a full time drummer/tutor and a studio owner. It has been an amazing journey. One that I would not believe I’d take if somebody told me about it in my early teens.
Having embarked and committed myself to this journey it is now necessary to amplify in order to keep it alive.
This has brought me to a crossroads where there is much more to take in account. Bigger committement, new roles and skill sets on one hand and an immense drive to make music and go out playing it on the other. Finding it hard to combine both ends of the spectrum but above all I trust that this is still my best life.
There is magic in the air and the challenge seems to be how to keep breathing from.
Wow! So moving. I guess you just have to make a start, before you know it a year will go by and you would have made progress of some sort. The best time to start is always now! I love your honesty and that you’ve shared it here too. Best of luck in this new challenge.
This is amazing. I’m so excited for your journey and happy for you! 🙂 Thank you for sharing your art, Szjerdene. It was an honor to have been able to meet you (Seattle, Sept 2017). You are as lovely on the inside as on the outside.
You’re so welcome. Really kind of you!
Best of luck to you in whatever you choose to focus on next. You are clearly very talented and I would bet you would excel at anything you put your mind too.
Much as touring looks like fun I am sure it is a huge amount of effort and the rinse-repeat of nearly 2 years on the road has to take it out of you. The band would not be the same without that ‘Szjerdene’ magic onstage next to Mr Green. We are already missing your sweet voice and flair.
Big love and blue skies X
Oh that’s so kind! Touring is definitely a commitment, I enjoy it and am so grateful for the opportunities and experiences it provides. I’m excited to explore and share even more of what I get up to 🙂 Thanks for the love and support, really appreciated!